Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Life, Loss, and Lengthy Posts


April.  Has it really been since April when I last post?  A lot has been happening.  I needed a blogging break.  Among other breaks.  Blogging was one thing I could actually break from - whereas - the rest I wasn't able to.

It's been a hard several months.  In April, I lost my mother-in-law to Small Cell Lung Cancer.  It was an awful 3 year battle or so.  After the first year, they did preventative so it wouldn't spread to her brain.  Because of that preventative treatment it fast-forwarded Alzheimer-like symptoms.  Cancer Sucks.  I've said it before and I will say it again.


In May, we also lost Charlie.  He was about 19 years old and for those of you who I've known for a while - knew he was feral since the time he was a baby and was a rescue.  He battled strange issues throughout the years and we had always dealt with them.  The last couple of years he was deaf, too.  In the past year, we had watched him get smaller and smaller and he got to the point where many things he once loved were difficult for him.  Things just started shutting down and the vet assumed there was cancer somewhere but didn't want to put him thru all the tests and anxiety.  For the first time since I was 3 years old I'm without a cat in the house.  It's strange.  Our fur family is the smallest it's been in a long time.  Riley and Cricket are still around but we have been having problems with Riley and his natural aging process, too.  He's about 18 or 19 years old now, too!


In June, we found out the company we work for had been sold.  We've been dealing with the change ever since.  It's mostly been good with more changes on the way but it's been a non-stop world-wind of things happening one after another.

Also in June, my mother found out that the sore on her face near her eye was skin cancer.  From what we can gather, everything should be ok, but we had to wait over 3 months for her to be seen again.

With everything going on, I have been unsuccessfully trying to deal with my own stress.  My chronic pain issues seem to come and go like they have in the past BUT now I am dealing with a few other issues I haven't dealt with before.  One being a scalp issue.  I have been trying to treat it with coconut oil, apple cider vinegar, tea tree oil, etc.  Just when I think I am making some progress it comes back with a vengeance.  I'm pretty sure it's some kind of psoriasis or eczema of some sort.


I try and keep this blog positive and happy and try and learn things and archive them but it's been so hard with this post not seeming to do any of those things.  I have been doing a TON of volunteer work and between that and seeing my niece when I can those seem to be the only two things keeping me somewhat sane.

I chopped off all my hair.  It's time for me to do it again.  I've gained weight again and need to shed about 20 pounds.  I think I would feel better if I did.  Winter is coming and that is when I struggle even more with not being as active and on-the-go.

I have a lot of things to blog about but am afraid I just don't have the time.  Because of Riley aging and reverting back to his separation anxiety years I'm not able to sleep in bed anymore.  I have to sleep down in the recliner so he won't bark.  Sleep has been few and far between because of it.  I know it's taking a toll.

I'm trying to start my days earlier so I will have some time for myself but then I just start jumping into work and not doing the non-work things I need to be doing.

I need to re-work my time.  I need to start listening to podcasts.  I need to shake the negative and focus on the positive.  I need to spend less time with the people and things that make me feel bad and start realizing I'm not that bad of a person.  That's been hard for me my entire life.  Certainly something I need to work on.

I have a lot of photos over the last several months I need to post and blog about here.  Many of them have to do with volunteering and new vegan finds but I'm also trying to take more photos of my surroundings and BREATHE.  I won't share those in this post but I hope to in near-future posts.  I just wanted to update you on where I have been and why I haven't been posting.  I need to start posting again...I think it will help me in the long run.  Thanks for NOT giving up on me.

14 comments:

  1. I am so so sorry for all your losses. It sounds like it has been a very stressful and emotional time. Definitely not giving up on you. We are here, for whatever and whenever you are ready to share. <3

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    1. Thanks for NOT giving up on me! I appreciate it! And thanks for the encouragement! It means the world to me!

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  2. I'm so sorry for all the losses and stress. That's so much to deal with.
    I really hope you find some time for things that you love.
    You're definitely a wonderful person!!!!

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    1. Awwww...thanks! You are wonderful, too! I appreciate you!

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  3. I'm so sorry for all your losses and the additional stressors you've been dealing with. I hope things get better for you soon <3

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    1. Thanks! I appreciate you and the encouragement!

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  4. So sorry to hear about your losses, hope everything gets better soon.

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    1. Thanks! I hope to post some more positive things soon and more often!

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  5. I am so sorry for all the stress, sending hugs. Health issues with loved ones can take a huge toll. And work stress sucks! So sorry, I know the changes aren't easy. And being without cats is strange, I went through that when Smokey passed, but have not added another since Leela is high-maintenance with her aging health issues and we're working more hours. Glad you're back and sending good vibes that things get better.

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    1. Yes! Riley's aging has been showing the last couple of years. I'm afraid to add any more to our family because I know things have been tough with Riley. His separation anxiety has returned. And I catch him doing weird things at times.

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  6. I'm so sorry for your losses and for all of the stress and pain you've been dealing with. I hope that you find some peace and please know that we all love and support you <3

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    1. Awwwwwe thanks!~ That certainly helps! I appreciate all of you!

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  7. I'm so, so sorry for for all you're going through, and for your losses. I'm thinking of you, and I'm here if you need anything!

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  8. That is so much to go through in such a short space of time. Be easy on yourself! You've articulated such a long list of "needs," but maybe there are just one or two that would go a long way. I know that I find spending time outdoors to be very restorative; maybe you would too? Sending peaceful thoughts your way!

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